A quick rant about Substack and ShopMy

I'm a walking hypocrite and I know it!

HELLO FRIENDS.

I’ve been struggling to write for a few weeks now (clearly) due to a confluence of reasons. First and foremost, it’s summer!! Schedules are erratic and I want to spend time with my kids doing all the fun things that normally take too long to work into our schedule.

I also got burnt out on this whole Substack/ShopMy machine and needed a break.

I suppose it’s a simple case of careful what you wish for. When I first started out writing on Substack, it seemed like a fun and harmless creative pastime. And frankly, that’s all I want it to be- for pleasure. But whether writers on here like to admit it or not, this can easily turn into another form of social media where you get a little too hooked on chasing clout or watching other writers churning and reaping the rewards. It can create pressure and expectations of how to engage with the medium that veer away from the original intent.

I was talking to a few writers in person and the conversation about follower count came up. Everyone mentioned that they had particular benchmarks in their head that they were aiming to hit by certain dates, then feeling disappointed that their numbers weren’t there yet. When I asked why, they said because their goal is to get brand partnerships. This makes complete sense to me if the end game is to turn this into a full fledged business and I don’t judge that at all. Truly.

At this particular point in my life, I don’t want to turn this into a business. I recognize that I’m not in a ‘building’ stage. I don’t want to feel obligated to write something complimentary about a product that I don’t think is great (or to write anything at all, for that matter). I don’t want to ‘strategically partner’ with someone for the sake of gaining followers on here or to have to follow a schedule. What I’ve learned about myself is that I suck at being a Content Creator (notice the capital Cs) because I don’t like having deadlines or feeling beholden to anybody. As soon as there are specific parameters put around any of this digital stuff, self-imposed or otherwise, I clam up.

I don’t want to have to create video content or talk to a camera. I won’t show my kids faces. I know that being on the internet is a legitimate profession and will probably only grow in popularity but if I’m being super honest, I also don’t want my girls to ever catch me taking photos of myself or spending too much time on my phone. I hate the idea of glamorizing a phone at all.

I realize that this is a looking a gift horse in the mouth situation and that I’m a walking hypocrite. I’m still writing, aren’t I? I’m still getting gifting requests on ShopMy and willingly obliging to many of them. I try to hide the gifting packages that get sent to me so as not to normalize the perceived constant online shopping. The other day my older daughter asked me where I got something new I was wearing and I suck at lying so I said that someone sent it to me because I’m a writer and they wanted me to write about it. She didn’t ask more questions and that’s mostly the truth.

For a minute, I got swept up in things and started to think that because this was organically turning into something, I should then push to build it into a real business. Should I start a TikTok account? Don’t forget to post on Instagram and try to push that traffic to your Substack! An office one day, perhaps?

It’s all too much for me.

I’m setting boundaries for myself and really trying to enforce them. I’m not saying yes to everything that’s gifted. I’m not saying yes to paid partnerships (this sounds like a bigger deal than it is- I’m a low budget buy) if I don’t genuinely like and use the products or if I simply don’t feel like it. I’m not networking on this platform for the sake of networking. I’m not positioning myself as an expert or a stylist, not creating videos of myself giving lessons or writing listicles to translate into a Reel on IG.

I’m small potatoes on the internet and I know that, but the way that ShopMy works is that once you hit a certain level of sales, you get offered things pretty constantly. Most of it is pretty crap but some of it is really fun and exciting. I can’t even imagine what it must be like for people that have big followings and are good at this. The amount of stuff!!!

Again, in fear that I’m sounding like a total asshole, I really mean that I don’t judge anyone who is or wants to be a true Creator. I think there’s power in being compensated for your ideas and taste, which is the positive I see in ShopMy. I love that this all gives women the opportunity to make income regardless of what their life looks like or how much time they want to commit to this. What a great way to make money being a stay at home mom! Or a woman showing how to dress in an interesting way for her corporate job! I love that and I’m here for it. I just don’t have the stamina right now to do it myself in any significant way.

I guess all of this is to say that I think it’s healthy to have some ideas of what you want out of this and to be honest with yourself. I’d rather people be honest than saying they’re ‘just here for the community’ when in reality that’s a fun bonus on the ride to turning yourself into an internet personality. At the same time, do with it what you want, when you want. But the one thing I beg is that we all do it from a place that is real so that this doesn’t become a sea of sameness, which is what I started to feel exhausted by over the past few weeks. I think we can all smell when something comes from a genuine interest/passion versus thinking about it so strategically that the soul gets sucked out.

By the way, in 6 months from now I could change my tune and feel the urge to build build build and that’s okay. I give myself permission to ebb and flow based on where I’m at in life and where my priorities lie.

Alright, that’s enough ranting for now. I think I needed to get that off my chest before I get back to writing any Absolutely No Gatekeeping pieces or whatever I decide to write (or not write) in the future.

xW

Pardon my typos. I’m sure there were plenty of them.